1 - Odd man out By A. Dragon

1- Intro

Who are you?

How does one become you? Is it contagious or hereditary? Can one be cured or can you get a vaccine? Is your disposition predetermined? Is it nature or nurture?

These were some of the questions I was asking myself the year I decided I could do more with my white privilege life and maybe save the world, I had some of the answers, now I just needed someone to listen. This was the year of COVID, lockdown, the year I found love and lost it and then I fell down the stairs, the year I marked 50 years on this planet trying my best.

The following year brought some answers. It really was nothing new. Just a new perspective that brought to light the one common theme of my life, the theme was clear from my first memories as a very verbal two year old immigrant in a preschool full of humans who didn't understand a word I was saying, I realize now it wasn’t just a language barrier, no matter how I tried to fit in, I just wasn’t one of them, they drank their look warm hot coco even though it had this old yucky film on it and they did not complain.

I proceeded to have a wonderful childhood as far as I was concerned, I learned a couple of their language, we played games, grew up and even became friends.

I was part of an average family as far as I could tell, my siblings and I played in the street with the other kids, we had keys around our necks and nice parents with respectable jobs that we got to see for dinner and some homework help.

As I grew up, I continued to go through the motions, filling the expectations. I got a job, got an education (or so I thought), got married, had kids, the house, the car, the works.

But even as I was having fun, I still felt like I was fumbling through life, looking for a purpose or my people or something.

As I tried to find my place in different communities, groups, organizations and companies, I would do my best to try and make the place better, make improvements, fix problems and become a valued member of the group.

But time and again I was asked to step back or step down or step out, they didn't want to improve or change or make things better, or get my opinion, they liked things as they were, the way they always did them, or maybe they got used to them or they saw no way to change. But I did, and I was frustrated.

So what do you do when you find out you are the odd man out?

These are the options:

Stay and change myself

Leave and be myself

Stay and try to change them

This is the story of how I navigated those options and how they shaped me.

Each chapter is dedicated to the communities I belonged to at the time, the “like minded people” we all seek to be surrounded by. Our chosen family. Our Friends groups. When do you say to yourself or they say to you, we are no longer associated with each other? We don't want you to be one of us and you don't want anything to do with us. In opposition to the words of Groucho Marx, "I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member." I would like to be quoted for saying "I'll join any club that will have me as a member, lets just see how long we last" A. Dragon.

Let the adventure begin.