2 - TTITD 2022

I always wanted to go to that thing in the dessert, after all I did my army in the Negev desert

and already spent a week in the Sinai with all my gear, I know how to be self sustained. Those 10 principals spoke to me and the burning of the man, finally an end to patriarchy. As an artist and a free thinker I thought I would find my people there, but ounce again I was the odd man out.

I definitely learned a lot from this festival and its offshoots and I do believe a lot of good is coming of it and is giving a home to many, but based on their own principals this community is lacking in everything but hypocrisy.

My fist opportunity to join in this inclusive community came about 12 years ago from a coworker who added me to a yahoo group he was on with "really nice people" he said (he didn't want to go this year). The chat was already in full swing and no one noticed the joining of a dragon. So I tried to listen and understand what was going on, between conversations about WAPs and MOOP there was suddenly a word I understood, VOLUNTEER, with a link. So I signed up with a friend to bartend for a total of 8 hours and bought us both tickets to a fundraising party (fundraising parties are things hypocrites do when they are not supposed to use money so they use other peoples). After our shift, we tried to make friends but we didn't seem to be in the loop. The next thing I understood on the chat was "buy your own ticket to camp" with link, when I arrived they kicked me out as they didn't know who I was. So I flew solo. I got to see the art and the people but try as hard as I could to interact I was not let in.

The next time I got the courage to try again was ten years later, I had finally learned the ways of the American dream, 5 sec ticket sales, available to those with the knowledge, cash and the tech, you can make your own ticket dreams come true. Now I also learned the ways of the camp. No need to wait in line, someone else will do it for you.

After my divorce I was ready to plunge deeper into this community. So I bought two tickets and took a friend, we got invited to join a camp last minute and we took on the role with great eagerness. The humans around us were energetic and friendly, people seemed generous giving out cookies and whiskey and other substances, and as I was going to need roommates pretty soon so I invited them over.

The first thing I learned about the burning man community and their principals is that those are only principals, you know, like suggestions, no one is actually expected to follow them or follow them fully, that would be crazy, and they are only for playa, not everywhere, being authentic, self reliant and inclusive are not for the default world.

I had been a foster parent for 15 years and believed most people are just a little wounded, but meeting more and more adults I found many of them lacking the belief repair is possible.

One of those was my good friend SpiderMonkey, She was special, she knew stuff, and she wanted to do things with her knowledge but she had stress and anxiety, and blackouts and feelings of being destructive and left out and these feelings sent her on a journey to leave this place on her own terms.

Our small community was not strong enough to save her from taking her life, nor were we strong enough to overcome it and we dispersed.

SpederMonkey was an avid burner, the one tried to live it year round. I felt for her sake I needed to do the temples, one of the lesser known things that happens at burning man and its regionals is a sacred time where burners morn their lost in a shrine made of wood and then they burn it.

So I went to the regional where we met in Washington state and her home state of Oregon and finally the big burn in BRC and watched the temples burn.

I had already been to Black Rock city the year before for what they called the renegade, but only 10k people showed up as apposed to the 120k this year so I was easily tempted when I received the offer of a ticket and a camp for 2022.

I arrived early with a WAP (work access permit) 6 days before the event started with my self reliant RV and plenty of principle energy. I worked my ass off building shelters for the tent people and building a sex dungeon for the masses that will come to be educated. What was I getting in return? I'm not sure, I thought it was community, decommodification and gifting but after an incident with a capri sun and borrowing a fan I was bullied and kicked out for not respecting some invisible boundaries no one told me about. I was happy to leave, maybe the real burners were out there somewhere. I met some truly wonderful people out there, lawyers who like to go naked once a year and dancers looking for inspiration but very few of the principals.

My impression of the burning man festival that takes place in the dessert is an abundance of creativity and wonderful powerful art in a city running on bicycles and alcohol and drugs while celebrating the man to the point of worship, there were even excited rummers of a man (Elon Musk) walking among us. The decommodification in the city is overcompensated by outrageous amounts spent pre-arrival on Amazon, Walmart and the dues for memberships in camps run by men that are close to the man. Most of the participants are not in any way self reliant and would literally die if they were in the dessert alone (and I mean that in the literal sense and not if you both went out with the same outfit kind of way). Radical Inclusion stopped in the ability to buy a ticket and show up just like any other festival and even that isn't radically inclusive, the communities themselves in the form of the camps were not as radical in their inclusion and those were often closed to members only (unless you are hot young and sexy) or even, closed due to the plague.

"Leave No Trace" a famous one of the principle is teaching a small number of brats to clean up after themselves, something they have never had to do, but neither was wishing they had a shower, it's not in any way leaving places in a better state than when found, definitely not this planet we all share with all the burning of the beautiful wood and the use of all the plastic and gas at this festival not to mention the need to make money selling ice.

Immediacy, listed as the most important touchstone, (seems like it was just a need to get the principles to 10) was reminding me I could leave immediately after the big burn on Saturday night as most do, but I met a native from the local tribe who was very grateful for her free ticket, she encouraged me to stay. Unfortunately by day 12 my bike had given up, with no brakes and no lights and no bike shops open on a Sunday, (no really, there were bike shops and self serve bike repair but by Sunday most camps had torn down already), art cars were either no where to be found or in a great hurry to get to a burn somewhere. By the time I had made it to the outer ring of people sitting by the temple I had developed a nice rub between my legs, an unceremonious lighting of the temple (which I heard the architect is under some legal issue with the design) the burn was somber with some outbursts of howling. I was able to get a ride on an art car that took me farther away from home but I was exhausted and grateful for the seat.

I now call it man worship festival and as a man and a hypocrite, I will be happy to visit again if they'll have me but in another camp, closer to center, and with a private art car (solar powered) and a shower and all meals included and we make our own ice using the sun.

Odd man out of burning man.